Sunday, January 12, 2014

Still Small Voice

On the first Monday of June 2013, I walked under the threshold of Still Waters Camp for the second time in my life. Having been there the year before, I knew a little of what to expect. I went there with high hopes of visiting with my friends, meeting new people, having a great time and most of all, having a week away from the distractions of the world to get closer to Christ.

Monday went much like I'd imagined; with a great day and an awesome evening bonfire and devotional time. But the service on Tuesday evening pricked my heart in a way I couldn't ignore.You see, for the past 3 years( since I've become a Christian) I've felt the Lord telling me to get rebaptized. And for the past 3 years, I've ignored, excused, and fought against that Leading. Before I went to camp, I'd been asking the Lord to reveal to me His purpose for my life. I just wanted to hear from Him in a way I'd thought I would understand, not realizing I was hearing from Him and not listening. I thought I was I listening for a still small Voice, but in my heart I wanted to hear a loud, thunderous sound.

The sermon that night was about Elijah and told a pretty familiar story of how Elijah had fell into a dispair and God showed him wonders, but wasn't in the wonders. After the wonders, God spoke to him in a still small Voice. As I was pondering this,  the Speaker went on to say how we shouldn't wait to listen to God's Voice, because one day it will be too late; we'd cross a line and never hear it again.

Those words slammed into my heart like a runway train. The thought of never hearing God's Voice again sent chills racing down my spine. To never feel His Presence when I pray or worship Him in song, to never sense His nudging when I'm headed down the wrong path? I decided I never wanted to live that kind of existence and prayed I'd always obey when I felt God speaking.

Then I realized, He had been speaking to me. He'd been telling me to get baptized for years, and, I'd been ignoring it. I knew I had to make right then, without excuses, without waiting, without thinking. I knew I had to obey.

Before long, I found myself standing on the beach, crying my eyes out, while my tent chaperone held her arm around me on support. I cried because I was scared the lake was freezing, because I was scared of everyone looking, but mostly because I was sorry for waiting so long.

When I rose out of the water, I was greeted with hugs and congratulations from my friends and chaperones, but I also rose with a sense of relief that was greater than I've ever known before. The apprehension I'd always felt before seemed silly in comparison to the feeling I had now.

The rest of the week passed by even better than I could've expected, with the Lord giving me everything I needed and more. I spent it in laughs with my friends and prayer with people that I consider my family(we all have the same Father). I also learned lessons I pray I never forget.

That week I learned that obedience is better than sacrifice and there's no greater feeling in the world than being in the Will of God. I also learned that a still small Voice is exactly that, you have to listen for It, then listen to It.